What's the reason we can't fall in love?

"Tonight 9pm k ? I'll go pick you up:)"

I read this from my inbox in the office and started giggling like mad to myself. I was trying so hard not to make a sound at all. I had to control my laughter, it's hard to do! You should try it some time.

"9pm k ? Cos I got dinner ppt :/ can can ?"

I read this from my Whatsapp & started giggling even harder.



I got home, I burst out laughing for a good fifteen minutes (at least! or maybe longer!). Aunty kept asking what's wrong with me but I just couldn't say a thing at all, I just kept laughing, I couldn't stop. When I finally calmed down, I told her & she went oHhHhHhHhHhH~~~~~ hahahaha like I said, the whole world knows my secret. It's not even a secret anymore.



Few days back, he asked if I can make it on Thurs so I was like okay, but because before that he asked Wed, when I suggested Tues. So I was like, okay Wed or Thurs!? And he said Thurs cos he has got something to show me. Wowowow I was happy to hear that, really but I told myself to not expected anything at all else it will all go down into the disappointment list, making it longer than it already is. (Rhymes!)


He looked thinner. Or maybe it was my eyes. I was nervous. Anxious. Excited. Happy. Heart racing like a F1 racer. Body heat rose. (Fuck I am mad) He was there. Standing, waiting, usual. The Who, the top he was wearing says. I like text tshirts, remember?


We talked more than the previous time. I don't think he wants me the way I wants him. He didn't tell me, I didn't ask. I can tell. But it's okay. I'd rather to have him around than to not have at all. I want him to treat me like a friend, instead of someone who likes making him happy, who is in love with him and his laughter. And he makes me happy. The slightest thing he does like a simple text makes me smile, makes me giggle like a guy who is gay.


In the end he told me that surprise failed because he can't collect the new car, not until Monday. I smiled. He wanted to drive his new car out & bring me for a spin. <3 Him showing the slightest affection for me means the world to me.


I told him I didn't go for my test. And he encouraged me to go, motivated me to go. He also said he will teach me since I need help. He said he's thinking of going back to school again. When he said he likes to drive, especially when it's long distance, "bring me along, I love car rides" were the words my mouth couldn't utter. There were so many times I wanted to say something but my mouth just won't let the words out at all. I know once I say the wrong things, this ship is gonna sink. It's the last thing I want to happen. He forgot it was his mom's birthday, so he couldn't have dinner with me. So I said it's okay, we can always have dinner next week. Him wanting to have dinner with me means a lot to me as well.


And I'll be seeing him again next week :)




P/s: K, I hope you'll read this, and I hope you're not mad. But if you are, I'm sorry. I really am. I feel bad, you know. I want to meet you, I want to talk to you, I wanna hear what you have to say to me, I wanna hear what you wanna tell me. Text me okay <3